I consider myself a New Yorker.
I wasn’t born in New York, then again, most New Yorkers weren’t.
My family didn’t move to New York when I was 5 either. I’ve lived all over the world, in more cities than I can count on both hands…seriously. I haven’t even been here most of my life.
But I have lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere else, and I’ve always considered it to be the first city that I’VE actually chosen to live in on my own.
I remember seeing New York City for the first time in 1992…
The Rules To Being A New Yorker:
Rule #1: “Get The Frak Out Of My Way”
Yes, it’s a tall building. I know, I know, it’s REALLY FRAKKIN TALL. And there has to be at least, 1000 of them! They’re EVERYWHERE, right..?? Totally! Wait…what’s that..? They don’t have buildings this tall where you’re from..? REALLY..?? That’s incredible…well, why don’t you just stand in the middle of the sidewalk and take a look at them..? No, no, noooo…go ahead…take a picture too. I mean, your friends back home aren’t gonna BELIEVE this! Really? What’s that..? You HAVE no friends back home..? Ouch, well why not…
GET THE FRAK OUT OF MY WAY..!!!!
I don’t care what you’re doing..! I DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAARE..!!!!
Just MOOOOOOOOVE out of my frakkkkkkking way!!!
Move, move, moooooooooove!!!
Take your picture from ACROSS THE STREET..! Or IN THE STREET..!
…that concludes today’s lesson.
…later on I’ll give you another one.
Tag Archives: Frak
“A New Yorker’s Guide To Being A New Yorker. (Part 1)”
Filed under Hear Me Roar, New York City