Monthly Archives: April 2012

Fidelis Maximus vs The “Nutella Lawsuit”.


This is in response to an article a friend of mine pointed out to me yesterday in Yahoo! Finance which spoke of a lawsuit against Ferrero, the company that makes Nutella….my favorite chocolate treat of all time. 

The following is an excerpt from said article:

“…Ferrero, the company that manufactures the highly addictive yet apparently not terribly healthy spread, has settled a $3 million lawsuit filed in February 2011 by San Diego mom Athena Hohenberg. Hohenberg, it seems, believed that Nutella was a great dietary choice for her four-year-old daughter. She claimed the company’s advertising — particularly giving TV-ad viewers the idea that Nutella was part of a nutritious breakfast (see ad below) — led to her erroneous perception. But when she realized the spread is about as healthy as your average Snickers bar, she decided it was time to get even — and get cash.”

(Click anywhere in the excerpt above to read the article in its entirety on Yahoo! Finance)


(2010 Nutella Commercial)


The short of it…?

* I think I can safely say that anyone who decides to sue Nutella because they thought it’d be good for them is an idiot.

* The judge that didn’t throw this case and her out of court is an idiot too.

* And everyone that had anything to do with taking this case to that court in the first place…? They’re idiots as well.

* The fact that this lawsuit (and all lawsuits as idiotic as this one in years past) could even be possible in this country is baffling beyond words and in itself a large enough topic to be discussed at a later date.

* The lawsuit also allows anyone who has bought Nutella in a certain two year span to jump aboard the ‘we didn’t know it was as fattening as we thought it’d be’ train and collect up to $20 as well. For the record, I don’t care if it said ‘the next time Nutella touches Fidel Amos’ lips he’ll die’ on every jar, I wouldn’t support a lawsuit against my beloved Nutella or its makers, Ferrero.

The long of it..?

Athena Hohenberg of San Diego, California seriously thought Nutella was going to be a good dietary choice for her 4-year old..?

Actually, while we’re on that subject, why is her 4-year old on a diet in the first place..? Is she a heavy 4-year old? Perhaps the kind of heavy 4-year old that might be heavy in the first place because she eats everything that her mom places in front of her face..? Could it be that her mother has no idea what to feed her (proven, yes, by her mother’s own admittance of “dietary choice” selection) and that’s why she’s heavy in the first place, with or without the Nutella?

I wonder if the same genius that won Athena her millions will work for me? I wonder if I can convince that lawyer to convince the same judge that Athena had to try my case so I can sue her for A) not only being an idiot for believing any commercial whatsoever that appears on television, but B) for slandering the name of something that has been near and dear to my life ever since I can remember what something sweet tasted like….?”


– F



Filed under Hear Me Roar, Really America?, This...I Just Don't Get

“No Mr. President, You Can’t Have My $3.00.”

I usually ignore emails sent to me regarding campaign donating of any kind…especially around this time every four years when the Presidential race goes into overdrive. This particular letter, however, I simply could not ignore….you’ll read why below.– F


Here is the email I received…
…and here is my response.

“Mr. Gifford,”

“I would be lying to you if I said I was a person that cared about politics. I would be lying to you if I said the reason I’m on your mailing list is because I wanted Obama to become President a second term and not because I was being nice to the girl with the clipboard at the last fundraising cocktail hour I attended. Hell, I’d even be lying to you if I told you I voted for him the first time around.”

“I’d also be lying if I told you I was the kind of person that would give three of my hard-earned, unemployed, American dollars toward your cause after reading the part about you “taking care of airfare and accommodations” for two random strangers to “enjoy and evening” with the President and an actor who, unless I’m mistaken, has no political position in our country’s White House…regardless of how handsome, charming and morally upstanding he may be. Granted, I too, being not only American but a picture-hungry photojournalist to boot, would love the chance to wine and dine with an A-lister and the Commander In Chief, but I have one serious issue with this scenario Mr. Gifford: how can you justify spending countless hard-earned, unemployed, American dollars to fly two adults to Los Angeles, put them in a hotel and wine and dine them for an evening “A-list style” just for donating $3…??”

“Let alone the fact that this would seem absurdly uneconomical to anyone that’s ever taken a business class…did you (and by default your office and thus the office of the President) not get the memo saying our country was going through a depression? Did you not notice the ever-growing hatred among lower income Americans towards their money-spending, email-sending, campaign-racing counterparts on Capital Hill?”

“Perhaps it would better serve your fundraising needs if you sent out emails to the American public telling them that you’re not wasting their money to fly random, non-political people across the country to have pointless, media-friendly events with folks that could be using their talents and power elsewhere. Perhaps you’d get a more positive response from the people of this country if the emails mentioned instead that their $3 would be used to help put a man back into office that will help them with their job-losing, welfare-needing lives.”

“I’d give three of my hard-earned, unemployed, American dollars to someone who wrote me an email like that….and I’d make sure everyone I knew did the same. You have my word on that Mr. Gifford.”

“…you can trust me, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

– Fidel Amos

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Filed under Hear Me Roar, This...I Just Don't Get

“This Little Piggy Cried ‘Weeee’ All The Way To COCHON555.”


It’s not often that I start a blog entry with a single word.

I thought it best in this instance however, not only for the mere humor of the word in its singular form “pork”, but also for its more down to earth, serious meaning. Pork (in this case the physical meat, not the word) could be defined in a variety of ways: food to some, a pet to a few, an item to avoid in some religions and a sacred animal in others. Even if you set aside the cute, Disney portrayal, as well as the religious and “I want the one in the pink bow mommy” point of views, you’re still left with one very large area of conversation….pork.

Or, more specifically, eating pork.

Pork is one of the most commonly consumed meats in the world. According to the USDA’s Foreign Agricultural Service, nearly 100 million metric tons of pork was consumed worldwide…and that was just in 2006. There are dozens of cuts of pork and, depending on what country you’re standing in while doing the cutting, dozens of ways to name them!

There are literally hundreds of ways to prepare pork, depending on what part of the animal you’re cooking and how you’re cooking it. It can also be made into ham, confit, sausage, terrine and pate…as well as its most popular form here in the United States, bacon. Truth be told, I didn’t know most of what I just said to you up until a couple weeks ago (except for the part I mentioned about eating it). This is due mostly to the fact that up until a couple weeks ago I had never been to COCHON555.

The brainchild of Taste Network founder Brady Lowe, COCHON555 is a national event that takes place in 14 major markets with the goal of supporting sustainable agriculture. Every year (this is its fourth) it holds a culinary competition in ten cities. Fifty chefs (five in each city) are given one heritage breed pig each, after which they must create a menu using said pig, ‘snout-to-tail’ style.

Competing chef Barry Maiden (& team)

Competing chef Tim Gushman (& team)

Competing chef Steve 'Nookie' Postal (photo by: Julie Burba)

Competing chef Barbara Lynch (& Colin Lynch)

Competing chef Jamie Bissonnette (& team)

Ten winners (one from each city) are picked to fly to the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, Colorado for the final event, Grand Cochon. As the event grows in size every year, so too does Brady Lowe’s cause: utilization of the entire animal. And believe me when I tell you….at COCHON555, the entire animal is utilized.

Although I’ll make an attempt for the sake of this blog, actually trying to describe to someone what a day at COCHON555 is like is a lost cause, as no mere words can explain the total explosion of “pork madness” that one experiences. It begins with an hour of VIP pork-tasting and private dish-sampling by various guest judges.

It continues with additional hours of general admission perks, including raffles, multiple rooms filled with food, wine and cheese sponsors, a full whiskey bar, giveaways, demonstrations by award-winning butchers and cameos by celebrity chefs.

There are recipes to try, t-shirts to purchase, knives to sharpen and World Series trophies to pose next to (at least, in Boston there was!)

The day’s end brings music, a winner, a few gift bags and a 500-person mini-BBQ that seemed to materialize out of thin air. There are a dozen more COCHON events between now and the end of the year…with any luck I’ll find a ride to each and every one of them.

(Boston winner Jamie Bissonnette)

…also with any luck I’ll find a dozen ways to explain to my friends and family why I have to leave town every few weeks because of “pork”.

– F

(All photos by me unless stated otherwise)


* Click here to view the rest of the photos via my Wandering Eye’s Facebook page * 

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Filed under Globetrotting, On Assignment